I take a big breath as I begin this entry detailing Marianne's funeral and the activities surrounding it, in my perspective. Tears still come unexpectedly and often as I think of how much I miss her and always will. Poofy eyes are the "norm" lately. Well, here goes. On Friday extended family members began to gather for a family dinner at Nancy's (who is amazing at putting on very large parties). It was heart warming to see all 30+ who had come to town, a reunion that Marianne would have loved, and of course, her absence was bigger than life and hung heavy on our hearts. At 6:00 we went over to the mortuary for Marianne's viewing. Viewings have always been difficult for me since the day I could not go into the room where my mother lay in her casket. However, when I entered the room I felt like I was almost running to get to Marianne. The effects of the cancer were still evident, but I concentrated on her beautiful closed eyes and could still see my Marianne. The tears poured down my cheeks, and then, who came to my side for support...my precious sister, Sally. (And now I'm crying as much for love of her as for Marianne...tissue break....) Sally is so courageous and full of faith. I know she has had plenty of "moments" and will for her whole life, but through these last two months as she lovingly cared for Marianne 24/7, knowing this day would come, and through this funeral weekend, she has been...I don't even know a strong enough word...courageous, brave, unrelenting in her service and care for Marianne, yet calm and accepting and supportive of all who were/are mourning. I love her so much. She is my hero.
We gathered Saturday morning for the family prayer given by Jason, and then Sally, calmly and lovingly, covered her daughter's face with her temple veil and the casket was closed. We filed into the chapel, filled with so many friends and ward members who loved Marianne and the funeral began. Marianne's dearest friend, Cory, read the obituary, Jason shared special memories that the brothers (Jason, Jared and Jordan) have of Marianne, and then Emily did the same, speaking for herself and Alison. It was so beautiful and took such courage for them to speak from their hearts as they did. I was very proud of them. Then the Bolles quartet played "I Know That My Redeemer Lives." No words to describe this either. They play with the spirit and with such talent....it could not have been more beautiful!!!!!!!!! Emily Bolles (Jordan's wife) sang a beautiful, spirit filled song and then husband, Mike, then gave a wonderful talk about Marianne. I was proud of him, too, though I wished he would have paid tribute to Sally who stepped in where he could not. But thinking about that, Sally did not help Marianne for anyone else's approval or recognition. She did it only for her daughter who accepts her gift of love and devotion completely.
Snow was predicted for all day Saturday and we hoped that the storm would part so we could have some blue sky which we did, though the artic winds that came in the snow's place were bitterly cold. Alan dedicated Marianne's grave calmly as well, which was a blessing on his head as tears flow easily for tender-hearted Alan.
We returned to Marianne's meetinghouse for a lovely lunch put on by the wonderful Relief Society who had been bringing food in to Mike for nearly 2 months. They were amazing and so charitable. And then the strings played once again. First, came Brigham and Amelia, Alison's oldest two....the legacy goes on! And then all joined in (except for Brigham who had to loan Jordan his violin) for another beautiful number. And then we watched a DVD that Jared put together of Marianne's life. This gave EVERYONE the poofy eyes! It was so tender and emotional to have her short life there before us. All the happy memories! What a space she filled in all of our hearts! How we will miss her.
And lastly, we posed for pictures. Here are the Swenson sisters...Marianne's aunts.
And here is Ryan, Michael, Mindy, Mom Trudy and Dad Bill. (Adam was on a golf trip with 8 couples and unable to come. I missed him.) I appreciated them coming to reconnect with cousins and especially to increase their love and appreciation for their cousin, Marianne. She touched each one of them in special ways.
And here is the close knit, talented, WONDERFUL Bolles family. (Alison Richards, Alan and Sally, Jason and Kristi Ann, Andrew and Emily Stout, Jordan and Emily, Jared and Jessica, and Mike DeCarlo, Marianne's husband) Marianne loves her family and their darling children with all her heart, and she knows they love her just as fiercely. We will all miss her. Thoughts and tears come randomly and unpredicted as I imagine they will until we are no longer separated. What a joyous reunion that will be! I love you, Marianne!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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