Missing Marianne

My darling niece, Marianne Bolles DeCarlo, passed away this morning. The words are impossible to write without tears as I feel the void of life without Marianne already. I love her so much. She fought long and hard and bravely to beat the colon cancer that ravaged her body, always being full of faith and gratitude for the bonus months she was given, time to feel pretty good and able to check off many of the things on her "bucket list." She felt the comfort of her Heavenly Father's love throughout her ordeal, His arms around her "all the time and never leaving." Her simple faith and acceptance was amazing to see. She knew she was dying, but we all prayed for extended months and years. This miracle was granted.

Marianne has always been my special niece. Before I was married and lived in California, for a time with Sally, Marianne was my little sweetie pie. I had parties with her on her bed, I sewed her and Sally matching dresses. She liked to comb my long 70's hair (which felt heavenly!) Her twinkly, darling smile and personality was magnetic and I loved her to pieces. We've had a little "thing" between us every since. Within the last year, when we knew every memory made was precious, I will always cherish being invited to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir's Christmas concert with Marianne and Mike last December. We had a wonderful night together though I hoped against hope that it would not be her last Christmas. And then last spring, she came to St. George with my sisters and Mindy for a very wonderful few days sewing, eating out, enjoying the time together. She fit in with every age group being adored by her nieces and nephews and much older ladies in her Alpine quilt group. So many friends. And then in the summer she began to decline.

For the last two months my sister, Sally, has been by her side, assisting her in every way needed. (Sally's courage and strength in this most difficult situation was amazing.) Her pain meds were increased until Marianne slept most of the time and the days of praying for a miracle of healing were over. Her family and her extended family began prayers of acceptance and the desire for her to be out of pain and to be taken back to her Father in Heaven. It was Marianne's desire. And so, more quickly than we thought, her body began it's final decline and she returned Home.

Yesterday was different for me. Marianne was on my mind most of the day, even while working a shift at the temple I thought of her. My heart was heavy as if in mourning. In my bedtime prayers I had a beautiful visual scene pass through my mind of my mother's arms around Marianne in a joyous reunion. I had no idea that in an hour and a half she would pass away. Marianne always had a special feeling for her Grandma Em, my mother, who she never knew in this life, but I'm sure the sweet view that came to my mind last night was a reality! In a way, I envy Marianne!

The Bolles family will begin to gather here in a few days. It will be a sweet reunion that Marianne would have loved! She has been the connecting link between the Swenson cousins, every one of the cousins loved her.

The Bolles "kids" have always been very close friends. I love this picture of them surrounding Marianne on her wedding day! (from the left: Emily Stout, Jason, Jordan, Jared and Alison Richards) I love these "kids!"

Well, I will add more as the coming days unfold. For now I hope Marianne knows how much I love her and miss her. I know she does.